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One Guy’s Opinion by Guy Thompson - The wheel fell off


 (Editor’s Note: No one in this article is a mechanic. This will become apparent within moments.)

Parts of the following phone conversation are true. Others aren’t. I’ll let you decide which is which.

“Hello. Two and a half A’s. How can I help you?”

“What happened to the third A?”

“We downsized. How can I help you?”

“I think I need a tow truck.”

“For what?”

“To tow my vehicle.”

“Which vehicle?”

“The one that needs towed.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. We can get one out to you. I just need to get some information so we can get the right truck to you. Now, what is the problem with the vehicle?”

“It’s not moving.”

“And why is it not moving?”

“The wheel fell off.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Which one?”

“Which one what?”

“Which wheel fell off?”

“The one that isn’t attached anymore.”

“Which wheel would that one be?”

“The one that fell off.”

“Can you tell me specifically which wheel?”

“Um, number four, I think. Yeah, it’s number four, because there are only three still on. So that would be number four.”

“And can you describe what happened?”

“Sure. The wheel fell off.”

“When did it fall off?”

“It fell off when it was going around with all the others.”

“And how did it fall off?”

“It fell off when all the bolts holding it came off. Then the wheel fell off.”

“The bolts came off?”

“Yes. After that, I don’t think the wheel felt really attached to the vehicle anymore. So it fell off.”

“Has this ever happened before?”

“It’s happened loads of times.”

“How many times?”

“I don’t know. A lot.

“To you?”

“No. To other people. I’ve seen people stuck on the side of the road with a wheel that fell off. This isn’t the first wheel to fall off a vehicle, I’m sure.”

“Has it happened to you?”



“Just now. When the wheel fell off.”

 “Yes. But did it happen prior to right now?”

“Yes. About five minutes ago.”

“Any other time?”

“So far? No.”

“And what were you doing at the time?”

“Going forward.”

“And then?”

“The wheel fell off.”

“Then what happened?”

“I stopped going forward. I think the other three wheels felt the fourth wasn’t pulling its weight anymore, so they stopped, too.”

“Did any other wheels fall off?”

“No. They just don’t work well as a trio.”

“Was there any damage?”

“I think the wheel is hurt.”

“How can you tell?”

“It’s just laying there, unresponsive.”

“Any other damage?”

“Other than where the wheel fell off?”



 “Okay. I think I have enough information on the vehicle.”

“And the wheel.”

“The wheel?”

“The one that fell off.”

“Of course. Let me get an estimated time of arrival for the tow truck. And…it looks like it will be approximately three days and twenty-four minutes.”

“What happened? Did the tow truck have a wheel fall off?”